First Blog: Dialogue with Shame.

I published the App on the 27th of April. After having worked on it for a long time, I was super excited. I waited for a whole day and looked. Nothing really happened, not a single download. I expected a lot of people would just find the app, download it, and be happy. It didn't happen. No downloads for the first 2 days. I felt a little sad, and an old familiar voice came visiting. I sat down with my app and started the dialogue you can see below. Afterward, I felt better. I didn't write it to show you how you can use it. But after feeling the relief myself, I thought it might be a perfect (imperfect) example of how you could use the app.

Mads: Hey Shame, I could feel you pressing on my forehead and making my face go cold. What do you want to say? Shame protector: Are you actually listening to me? I didn't know that. Mads: Yes, I want to try something new. Shame protector: Oh well, don't go thinking you're something special! Mads: Well, I actually think I am. Why don't you think I should? Shame protector: Uh, because then you'll just get hurt and there'll be no one to comfort you. Mads: So you want to hurt me so I don't get hurt by others, and instead of comforting me, you shame me? Shame protector: Uh, yes. Mads: That doesn't quite sound like it serves my best interests. Shame protector: No, when you put it that way. Mads: Yeah, I'm not saying this to shame you, but it doesn't feel very loving? Shame protector: No, you're right, it's actually quite strange. Mads: Yes. I'm sure you do it for a good reason, but it feels very unloving — and you don't seem very proud of it either? Shame protector: No, I'm actually feeling a little embarrassed. Mads: I don't think you need to. Let's focus on your good intention. Shame protector: Thank you, Mads. Mads: What else is there? Shame protector: Anyone can make an app. Mads: Yes, plenty of people probably can. But not my app — with the brown background and the stick figure with the kind comments. And I have a lot in common with other people. That's actually wonderful. I think many people believe they can, but not that many actually do it. Anyone can't make my app. Only I can. What else? Shame protector: There are no users. Mads: No, I'm a little sad about that too, but it'll probably take some time. Maybe I'll have to ask for help. Shame protector: Loser! Only losers ask for help. Mads: Okay, that must make you quite lonely, thinking like that. I feel like I'm helping you by listening to your self-punishing rules. You might not be directly asking for help, but there's something unhappy about you that invites it. Do you find it disgusting to receive help? Shame protector: Uh, no — actually quite nice. I do feel a little embarrassed though, seeing how I talk to you. Mads: You know what? That's okay. I think you've been hard on yourself because you were afraid you couldn't handle more humiliating rejections and being ignored. Shame protector: Yes. Mads: I think you've done well. You're a tough one. A survivor! Shame protector: Thank you for seeing my strengths. I'm actually moved — and a little sad. Mads: That's okay. I know the feeling. I know how you feel. Shame protector: Do you? Mads: Yes, you're a part of me. And you've taken up a lot of space. Shame protector: Yes. Can you forgive me? Mads: Yes, I can. You've carried us in a strange way. Shame protector: Yes. Mads: You are a part of me. Shame protector: Am I? Mads: Yes, and you've done well. But now we can do something different. I can see your pain. You can see how your harshness hurts others. I can listen to you and understand you. Shame protector: I'm not a bad person. Mads: I know that, and you shouldn't think that about yourself. We found the ways that worked. And you didn't choose this alone. You're welcome to be here and say what you want. Shame protector: I don't think I want to say harsh things anymore. Mads: That would be wonderful. If you do slip into it, that's okay — we'll look at it together. You are not a bad person. Shame protector: Thank you, Mads. Mads: You're welcome, Shame. :) Shame protector: We'll talk again — yes, we will. Mads: Be kind to yourself. Shame protector: Thank you, and you too. Mads: I will. ❤️

It will probably take some time for people to find this App. Maybe this can inspire you. Who will you have a dialogue with?

Cheers Mads